Feeling Sleepy. But So Much In My Mind.

Well, I haven't kept up on my writing for a while. I've been going through a lot. Key word: LOT. I now live back at my grandmother's in Porter, Tx. (unfortunately). I am also single. And I have a job now. :) I've also disowned a has been best friend.

I am actually writing from my ex's now. Although we are no longer together, we are still friends, and I am personally hoping to work things out between us. I'm not quite sure if he hopes we get back together or not. He leaves for the Army at the end of August, so unfortunately, that doesn't leave us much time to work on fix things. Especially since as of now, he doesn't know how he feels about that. I guess I just have to follow my heart. I love him, and I guess I will keep trying with him until I can't try anymore.

I am not too happy about living back at my grandmother's. There's so many things I dislike about it. I HATE living in Porter, PERIOD. I hate being back in my old room, where my ex lived with me. I HATE living in a trailer. The place is plain depressing, and I can't stand being without Taylor. I love my grandmother, but I am 19, and don't care to live with her. I want my own home, with my family, where I can decorate and live the way I want like I did at the apartment. I PRAY that me and Taylor work this out SOON so I can come back to the apartment. As opposed to the trailer, there's so many things I love about the apartment. We'll see where this goes.

I now work at Pappas Seafood House in Humble, Tx. as a hostess. Other than orientation, today was my 2nd day, and so far, I enjoy it. It's easy, the people are nice, and I work with my best friend, which is definitely a plus!! I CANNOT WAIT until I have some money to spend. I already have a whole list in my head of things I want to buy. :)

I am extremely tired due to the fact I COULD NOT sleep last night. It's so different to sleep in a small bed without the love of your life, in a hot room. :/ I guess now I am off to cook Taylor a surprise dinner and wait for him. Pray for me guys!!

Morning Blog

Well, I got home pretty late last night and didn't have too much time to get on and write my nightly blog. Not much happened yesterday either. I mainly sat around the house cleaning, as usual. Later I went to Jenny's. Had her dye my hair for me. It was supposed to come out a really dark red color (like the picture I have posted of Hayley Williams' hair), but instead just basically took my highlights out and is a brown color. So I'm gonna have to get it redone here soon.

Now I'm off to get ready and dressed for a day with my grandmother and Braden. I should be back for more pointless ramblings tonight. Have a great day everyone!!

Spring Break

My Spring Break has been extremely boring and kinda sucky so far, with the exception of Sunday. I am looking at an acquaintances Spring Break in Cancun pictures and am finding myself extremely jealous. Maybe next Spring Break, after Taylor will have been in the Army a few months, we will be able to go somewhere wild and fun for Spring Break.

For today, my Spring Break consisted of slaving away at cleaning my 2 bedroom apartment. And I am still unsuccessful at completing this task. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, and I can finish our bedroom and bathroom, the 2 remaining dirty rooms.

The Army thing hasn't been on my mind so much today. Although I'm still scared of being without him while he participates in basic training and his schooling, I am getting a little more used to the idea of being an Army wife. I have been wearing his little rubber Army bracelet all day that the MEPS office gave to him, stuck an Army bumper sticker on my car, and put my set of keys on an Army lanyard. I am even excited for Taylor's payday tomorrow, because he promised to let me pick an "Army Wife" shirt out online and buy it for me. :) I am still very nervous about this whole Army thing though.

Well, my day has been pretty uneventful, and my mind has been mostly revolving around vacuums, dishes, soap, sweeping, etc. all day. I really don't have anything interesting to reflect on today, except my continuing thoughts on this whole Army situation. We shall see how tomorrow goes. Good night, folks!!

Losing My Blog Virginity

I have been feeling very talkative, thoughtful, and creative lately. I figured it'd be fun and interesting to start my own blog- a place for me to vent, talk to whoever wants to read, and just open up my mind a little. I'm also considering this somewhat of a journal, just to write about my every day life and experiences.

I'm just sitting on my couch writing this, tuning in and out of Family Guy and thinking about today. Today was sort of bittersweet for me. The man I'm in love with completed his first swearing in process. I am so proud of him. And Lord knows he will be the sexiest soldier EVER. ;) BUT, I am not really a fan of the hardships the military life can bring to people like me. I don't want to be away from my fiance ever (this means for his boot camp, schooling, and anything else that will arise). I also don't want to be told when and where we can move. I don't even want to move. I love right here where I'm at, close to my family and friends. I am dreading August 24th. That is the day the man I love and lay in the protection of every night will be gone for 9 weeks. It doesn't sound that long, but for someone who can barely go a day without her love, it's pretty intense. I really honestly don't think I'm strong enough to perfectly fulfill the duty of an Army wife. I am scared, nervous, excited, sad, unhappy, and mad, all at the same time. But I guess we will find out soon what this is all about. I never saw this happening.

The previous thoughts have been clouding my mind all day today, and I think they're gonna last a while. But I'm ready to get them outta my head and forget about them for a while. The thoughts stress me out and make me feel too anxious. But now, I think I am ready to rest my mind, body, and soul. They all need a little beauty sleep. So now it's time to put the computer down and fall asleep to my nightly viewing of Cheaters on DVR. Good night to all.